20 funny truths

1) When a guy open a car door for a girl,
is either the girl is new or the car is new.
(2) A guy asked u for sex and u asked,
"Do u Love me?". What do u expect him
to say, or Are U a LEARNER ?
(3) Half naked girls are hot,while well
dressed girls are beautiful. Hell is hot,
while heaven is beautiful. the choice is
yours.
(4)You have been engaged to him for 4
years and no wedding is forth coming.
Please kindly remove the ring. Is your
finger a key holder?
(5)You have slept with over 10 girls
without protection yet you go to the
barbers shop with your personal clipper.
What are you preventing?
(6) Guys always know who their heart
belongs to, so if you like cook chicken in
diamond sauce or do monkey style in
bed, if it's not you, it can't b u.
(7) In America wen a couple go to bed
dey say "Good nights my love" In Britain
"Sweet dreams darling" In Nigeria "Did u
lock d Gate, doors & windows?
(8) You cannot say "I can't date you, I
have a boyfriend" and be asking for
money from him. Gt-bank staff cannot
receive salary from UBA bank!
(9) My name is A'square, I used my friend
to set up my girlfriend to see if she'll
cheat on me. Now they've sent me
weeding Invitation. What AM I?
(A) Learner
(B)God sent
(C) Fool
(10) No Guy will ever tell a Lady "i ve a
Girlfriend" when asking her out. Their
National Anthem is "we had issues &
we've broken up".
(11) Welcome to Nigeria where the
government is responsible and blamed for
every damn things. if mosquito bite you,
you will blame the government.
(12) No guy is single,you either snatch
him from someone or share him with
someone, the most important thing is to
be the highest Shareholder.
(13) I woke up today,someone
somewhere just took their last breath.
Thank You God for blessing me more than
I deserve
(14) 35yr old first class graduate without
job and u dey follow Lil'Wayne sing 'I
Ain't Got no worries, your life is on SOS
(15) Idiot girl said: "I dated him for
GOOD 10 years and he broke my heart"
fool, what's GOOD in the years?
(16)(a)
Sex won't make him love u
(b) A baby won't make him stay. If you're
doubting me, kindly ask TUFACE
(17) No matter how nice you are to a
goat, it will still eat your yam.
18) You make his 'Dick' hard, u carry him
enter room, he don off shirt, then u shout
April Fool... My sister, he will RAPE ur
Destiny!
(19)What shall it profit a girl to have all
the Brazilian hair in the whole world and
still lose her boyfriend to a girl on low a
cut?
(20) Kill an American citizen and 1 million
policemen will be deployed to search for
u but kill 1 million Nigerians U will be
invited for amnesty
(21)Don't act like you have it all, even
rich men beg for pen in the bank.
(22) No matter how big ur house is,How
recent your car is,or how huge ur bank
account is, Our grave is still gonna be the
same size, stay humble.
(23)No Matter How Pretty Or Cute your
Face Might Be,you Will Still Be the Food
For Worms. Set your Arrogance Aside and
Remember 6 Feet. No one lives for Ever....